Raindrops in the Eye

Chronologically enabled,
Technically challenged.
Vision mired in the past,
Path clouded by the future.
Blackle, Bing, Twitter, iPod,
Google and God.
The struggle and the dream,
The odd couple; strange bedfellows.
A substanceless high.


I was born in 1974 in the lap of luxury. We had a ubiquitous black telephone. Its number 2454568.

Dadu liked to acquire the latest wonders of technology. We had a radiogram, a Weston TV with shutters, a curd maker, and even a 'hifi' Konica camera.

Most would look at these and at other such technological wonders with awe. Interestingly, the same Dadu, never had a LIC policy or believed in the banking system.

Slowly, by the late seventies and early eighties, Dadu's affordability started dwindling. Left Front kept moving from the strength to strength and started empowering the poor. In West Bengal, poverty suddenly got fashionable and economic well being started to be looked down upon. If you could afford some luxuries, you better carry some guilt.

So as 'Jalsaghar' was being enacted in the reality of my house (and other Bengali houses as well), we had to let go most of our technological wonders. Some were sold of, some died its own death due to misuse or no use.

In 1986, Haley's comet came and took my grandfather along with it. Seventy six years ago, it had come and dropped him on earth.

In 1989 when I returned from my summer vacation, our last vestige of luxury, the blue Ambassador, was not to be found. We were just like any other commoner. Left Front's social program was having the desired success of achieving social equity.

There were still stray pieces of gadgets here and there. The picnic box, the huge white ice box, the Konica camera and my favorite air gun.

By the time I was in college, when we painted our house, the last memories of my past life faded behind the acrylic emulsion. Outside and inside the house, cable TV was making its inroad and the average man started believing in the stock market. VCR still remained in fashion.

In 1997, Shamik (Mitra) got a campus placement in Infosys. He still works there I believe. Y2K and other tech companies' name started ringing a bell.

All this while, Baba continued to remain faithful to his second wife - the much colored and much tampered 'Jawa'. For many years, it continued to provide blurred visions of the glorious days. With each of those visions, it brought thoughts of what could have been. Finally I let Baba down and he had to give away the Jawa a couple of years back.

In the interim, his huge aquarium (of 30 years) shrunk with the weight of time.

In 1999 June, Opu helped me open my first email account - kausik99@hotmail.com. Two months later came my first bank account, along with my first job and with that I got armed with my first ATM card. Till then I had a common account with Maa in the post office.

In Sep 1999, I actually flew for the first time.

It was an empty airbus 747 which Moon Moon Sen was trying to fill up. A month later, when I was flying back to Calcutta with Mamata Banerjee, I was marvelled at the sight of Calcutta from the top, bedecked in Durga Puja lights on a happy Soshti night. I believed that to be my last flight ever, and thus made sure I enjoyed it thoroughly.

After 25 similar flights and 12 months, my mother-in-law and everybody around me was convinced that I was ready for marriage. It was a different story, that no one knew I did not get my salary for three months leading to my marriage. Mun knew but she never bothered much about salary anyways. Along with my bride, in walked my own two wheeler as well.

In 2003 November, out of sheer boredom at work, I started blogging. I have tried to remain faithful to it and as a dear friend it has provided me the necessary release. Around the same time, our Jawa had the company of a pre-used Zen. I learnt driving soon and acquired my licence in 2004.

A year later in Pune, I used a cell phone for the first time. Needless to say, it was Opu's handset and his previous Pune number. 9880341085 was my first own mobile number which I got in Bangalore while working with ITC. In 2005, I finally bought my first handset.

In a lazy December morning of the same year, while sitting on the pot, I got tempted by a newspaper ad. By evening we had paid the booking amount for our car.

Nine months later, I realized my dream of setting foot on 'foreign' soil.

Three years have past since then. I even have a laptop, a 'wifi' broadband connection at home, 50 Euros and 116 Dollars in my wallet. In the interim, I have also acquired a digital camera and have experienced pay-per-view. I buy my tickets on the internet and recently flew to a holiday in a 5 star resort.

During my recent trip to US, I marvelled at the iPod. It is way beyond a smartphone. I even used a GPS for the first time. Two days back, I came to know about Blackle, and today I found out about Bing. Each day is incomplete without Google and Wiki. I love the concept of Twitter, Facebook and Orkut. But each day I balk at my lack of privacy in this digital neighbourhood.

While the world has changed, and India continues to skew on the developmental path, I continue to struggle to keep pace with things and feel technically challenged. But fortunately, I still continue to live the dream.