An apology for not having grasped the worth of the finest man that God sent my way
After my grandfather, Teko is another departed soul who touched and positively impacted innumerable lives. A godlike father, dutiful son, loving grandfather, father-figure uncle, great friend, reliable brother, helpful neighbour, an eternal guardian, and the sweetest spouse you will ever see. Effortlessly playing each role to its best, the finest specimen of each I have seen.
Selfless, simple, non-judgemental, sacrificing, uncomplaining, at most times invisible and absolutely unconditional expecting nothing in return. Holding the golden umbrella, shielding the person, when required or showing them the guiding light or simply just doing nothing but being there without any encumbrances or weight of his presence. All of this coming naturally, with no realisation of the greatness and carrying it as unassumingly as his crumpled white pyjama.
My heart breaks each time I think of Mun and Maa the two souls whose life will have a gaping hole now. To Mun he was not just a father but a life blood, a God who never put a foot wrong and who only gave her happy memories. To Maa he was like the very air that she used to get her life from. I cannot empathise with eithers' grief fully and but I am trying to understand the struggle to reconcile with the sudden unexpected loss of a man who was a part of their being and who was virtually immortal till a month back.
Selfless, simple, non-judgemental, sacrificing, uncomplaining, at most times invisible and absolutely unconditional expecting nothing in return. Holding the golden umbrella, shielding the person, when required or showing them the guiding light or simply just doing nothing but being there without any encumbrances or weight of his presence. All of this coming naturally, with no realisation of the greatness and carrying it as unassumingly as his crumpled white pyjama.
My heart breaks each time I think of Mun and Maa the two souls whose life will have a gaping hole now. To Mun he was not just a father but a life blood, a God who never put a foot wrong and who only gave her happy memories. To Maa he was like the very air that she used to get her life from. I cannot empathise with eithers' grief fully and but I am trying to understand the struggle to reconcile with the sudden unexpected loss of a man who was a part of their being and who was virtually immortal till a month back.
My heart bleeds each time my memories of him flash before my mind. The last time when I was flying to India, I was busy planning his 50th wedding anniversary. I cannot comprehend that nearly three years later, I sit on a plane rushing to attend his post-death rituals. Just four months back the man himself was making the same trip back home with the hope of visting us again in NZ.
His death is one more reminder of the Indian healthcare system, where most doctors and hospitals don't yet realise their true responsibility of dealing with lives but continue to see each person under their care as mere patients. This is real grief. The sudden and unexpected nature of his death is a shock to the system. He was so reliable that those near him never imagined him to leave them and go. I am sure each life he has touched is crying in its own way and dealing with the grief. I hope during this time, as we are together as a family, lending a shoulder to each other to cry on, we all come to terms with it soon. We rather cherish the happy memories we have of him and celebrate one of the finest man that I now know so that we can let him be as he let everyone be. Else I worry his soul will cry and will not be at able to come to terms with his own absence for not being around for his Dipa, Mun or Joy and for having caused them so much grief.
During his recent sickness he told Maa that he will apologise to his grandchildren as the money going to his treatment means he leaves less for them. That was his almost incomprehensible level of selflessness. Incomprehensible for a selfish, judgemental, fool like me who could never fully understand the scale of the man inspite of having so many opportunities to know him in the 24 years that I have known him via Mun. Glimpses that were coloured by my myopic rigid old-school "son-in-law" lens.
Mun asked what has been my happiest memory of Baba. I couldnt make eye contact as I struggled to immediately pin down one. I am sorry Teko for everything and most importantly not including me in your life as fully and unconditionally as you included me in yours and giving the most cherished thing of your life - Mun. This death is a lesson. I don't want to have "I wish.." moments with my near ones anymore. Set aside your respective lenses and like SPG, treat everyone for what they are worth and make most of your time with them.
This was a man who was truly "Gold Class" and I wish God continue to make them not for the sake others but for the sake of them. People like him make the world a more happier place as he did for Mun and Maa and so many others. Thank you for giving me Mun.
Wherever you go next I am sure you will be the angel, all encompassing and unconditional. Or have you earned your place in heaven? I believe you may have.
