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Nov 3, 2003

The question pops up in my mind again???

One helluva week finally comes to an end. Sudeshna's mom got admitted to the ICU. My elder aunt expired. My next door neighbour had a heart attack. One common thing among all of them - not one soul here was chronically ill. The question popped once again in my mind - How much control do we have on our lives? Not much I think.

The most epiphanic has been spending one whole night with the dead. It was one of my longest nights. The stenching fragrance doesnt seem to leave me even now. My uncle who is now in a debilitating state was expected to depart any time. It seems his life will run an extended innings. We were all worried about his fate. But no more. He has his would be son-in-law to take care. But why am I being so sarcastic? I wouldnt have been if it was not his second son-in-law in line. The first one quite tragically was dumped by my sister. He is now trying to slog it out with his 8 year son. Both of them is trying to start life afresh. So is my sister but the only difference between her and them is that she is doing it out of choice. In all this I can only be a passive onlooker.

There has been a lot happen in other fronts. Junior doctors in Calcutta have gone berserk in one of the city's leading hospital. However by describing a hospital as leading should not lead you to think of it as some state of the art center. While I read this I could not help feeling like a passive onlooker again.

Meanwhile sudeshna is making steady progress. She is running a marathon and its a long one. I can only be her coach. My only other contribution was to sign the entry form. Good news is that there are quite a few supporters who are egging her on. The difficult part for me is running on the sidelines where the path is not as clear as it is on the track. But I will have to keep following her the entire race. Because victory when it comes will be dear to both of us and I dont want to miss the moment.

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