An alibi for life?

"It would be enough; as an alibi for a life, it would do; she would not need to apologise for how she spent her time on this earth"
Amitava Ghosh in The Hungry Tide

There is this feeling which haunts me every moment, every hour, every day & every year. Am I giving a good account of myself?

It leads me to measure myself. But how? Against what? With whom?

At most times I go to bed with this uncanny feeling that I failed in my purpose for the day. It is besides the point though that very rarely I set myself any purpose when I wake up the following morning. It is this same feeling which prevents me from enjoying every 31st December night.

Am I giving a good account of myself? Could I have done much better? Are we born with a purpose?

I believe each of us have a purpose. Some discover it pretty early in life, some struggle to discover at a later stage and some dont even think there is a need.

I do think that each would have a report card that sums up our life. May be thats what is Chitragupto's Khata. But how are the entries made? Is it in terms of the roles that we play in life. Or is it a pure objective rendering of our deeds.

Are we accountable for the time we spend on this earth? Does accountability start with the people around me like my family, friends and those who are dependant on me. Each day I look at June and I feel accountable for the kind of human being she shapes up to be.

Why do I have these uncanny feelings? Why do I need an alibi for life?

Inspirations

I was yet to shake off my Blogger's Block. But the following good wishes and frank opinions from "a well wisher" has put everything to rest...

dear kaushik, believe me i tried a lot to pacify and restrain myself but sorry I have lost that control today and I have to tell something that the world thinks about you. To put it simply, I(we) have never seen a bigger fool and dumb person than you. Really kaushik believe me, i am saying this from the core of my heart that I(we) have never seen or known a person who is more dumb than you. If this hurts you I am sorry but then you had created this situation and you had it coming.my only piece of advice???????stop writing on the blog rather than writing bullshit, meaningless and crappy stuff. only that can save you some face.

Come on Rip, where are you? I need more inspiration, I need more support and so much more (sarcasm, criticism etc)... All to stop writing my posts. How I feel like going back to school (not to learn the nuances of writing but rather to revisit those catfights during lunchtimes).

Well wisher, I wish you, and me, and all the we(s).. all the best.. Keep coming and providing the anonymous inspirations.