"It would be enough; as an alibi for a life, it would do; she would not need to apologise for how she spent her time on this earth"
Amitava Ghosh in The Hungry Tide
There is this feeling which haunts me every moment, every hour, every day & every year. Am I giving a good account of myself?
It leads me to measure myself. But how? Against what? With whom?
At most times I go to bed with this uncanny feeling that I failed in my purpose for the day. It is besides the point though that very rarely I set myself any purpose when I wake up the following morning. It is this same feeling which prevents me from enjoying every 31st December night.
Am I giving a good account of myself? Could I have done much better? Are we born with a purpose?
I believe each of us have a purpose. Some discover it pretty early in life, some struggle to discover at a later stage and some dont even think there is a need.
I do think that each would have a report card that sums up our life. May be thats what is Chitragupto's Khata. But how are the entries made? Is it in terms of the roles that we play in life. Or is it a pure objective rendering of our deeds.
Are we accountable for the time we spend on this earth? Does accountability start with the people around me like my family, friends and those who are dependant on me. Each day I look at June and I feel accountable for the kind of human being she shapes up to be.
Why do I have these uncanny feelings? Why do I need an alibi for life?
7 comments:
u r not giving a good account of yourself.
ha! ha! ha! And u thought I would not sleep tonite...
But dont skirt the issue... I guess the question is central to our existence..
sheesh. why am I here? I am here to have fun, do no harm, make money to have fun: and so the cycle goes.
it's as simple as that, at least for me.
dear friend, i dont think we r accountable to anyone in life unless u hv lived a life of a hitler,Chenghiz khan,Tamerlene or hv been responsible for some kind of a mass destruction.
even our kids wont remember us more than three years from our death.
u r accountable only to yourself..for yourself.
try not to get tied up with routine duties and do things that u really want to do.
drop all pretence and sleep will come to u in no time.
thus spoke the rip. arise koushik, and see the light..is rip ramdev baba u think?
dont be stupid shuv, rip van Winkle IS the awakened one.ha!ha!
so thats the end of 'saltlakeman' is it?
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