My first adult stopover at Chennai. It is not bad. But then this is not Chennai. I am at the lobby of Trident Hilton. Each moment reminds me of her.
But it feels good to see your own name on a placard in the hand of a smiling suited chauffeur. Trident is good. And next day when you are dropped to the US Consulate in air conditioned comfort you dont even let the Chennai heat get to you.
However the moment of truth arrives when you step out at the US consulate in Chennai, the second busiest in the world. You are a commoner from whom the US of A would like to know why you want to meet uncle Sam.
For those who have had the ignominy of attending a walk-in, a visit to the US Consulate will augur similar emotions. As one moves forward, each progressive step, one starts feeling a little more edgy. Depends on how badly you want to travel. You peep out to overhear what the other guys are being asked. Your heart skips a beat each time you hear "Sorry! I cannot give you a Visa."
I was trying not to be nervous. I was not. But I confess my muscles were not very loose either. I am human after all. The whole buildup; your immigration team's briefing session, the several suggestions and counter suggestions, the experience at the consulate leading to your interview cannot help but make your muscles tight.
I was never one of those who badly wanted to travel to USA. It would be nice to visit but my life would'nt be incomplete if I never visit USA.
For me it has always been Europe, Latin America and ofcourse Scandinavia - my dream destination. And so it seemed the same with my Consular interviewer.
He had the man next door look but he had already rejected two applicants out of the 5 before me. He had got deep into the last 4 asking questions like "What's the difference between http and https" and "Whats the job of a network switch?".
I cannot lead him to get too technical I determined. After all I was struggling to remmember the full form of ERP while in the queue.
My turn came. I stood legs crossed (they cant see your legs). "Hi!", we greeted each other. "How are you doing?" he asked. Is this is a trap? "Fine" I said and kept it short. Get on with it. And he did and startled me with his harmless query, "So you are an SAP expert?".
For those split seconds when everything goes blank something was trying to make me blurt out "Yes". But I won and said "No, I develop training materials around SAP".
"So you work for Deloitte," he seems to have some respect for my firm. I replied, "Yes", avoiding the temptation to speak more.
Next, another shocker, "So what is SAP?". Did'nt he know that already. Why does he need me to explain it to him. "It's an ERP solution", I replied. "See, I am not a techie like you, so please dont use jargons and your techie terms. What is ERP?".
Quiverishly I said "Enterprise Resource Planning???". The question was more in mind than in my answer. "So what does it do?". "It helps increase the efficiency of a firm by streamlining... blah, blah, blah".
Sorry folks I dont remmember a word. I crossed the fingers of my legs. "Hmm.." he said and then suddenly "You have been to Denmark?". "Yes!" my muscles finally loosened. "Is it beautiful?", he asked. "It is very beautiful, the entire Scandinavia is beautiful". "You bet it is. But you will enjoy the US. Goodluck."
P.S. - I did check later that ERP is indeed Enterprise Resource Planning
30 comments:
bah! congrats! so when you are going to the US?
Asking me?? In Deloitte even the Cab driver is a US B1 ready.
INDIANS WILL REMAIN CHAMCHAS FOREVER.CONGRATS!
chennai airport, the trident, the consulate...you just echoed what i did last month! but yes, the chennai heat did get to me, standing out on the bloody pavement right outside the consulate. but my visa interview took all of 2 minutes! :)
Rip: Were once you sounded like a true VHP-Left fundos
did i tell u that story of my US visa rejection and how i gave it back to them? it was a crowning moment of my life.
RIP: u sounded pretty extreme there for a change..got rejected once eh? dont keep it all bottled up, spill it out to papa shuv..u will feel better.
dear shuv, kaushik...
go to US or go anywhere u like..thats perfectly okay.but why do we have to feel 'glorified'to be there or 'shaking in the knees' just in case we are rejected??
..u know..people who live here..are no less humans.
Rip: Glorified? Yeah I know someone would play on this. No I dont feel glorified.
Initially I was feeling like Chittabroto Majumdar (is he alive still??) while I was on the queue. But as I thought about it I do feel that they have a right to choose who they allow in their country and be selective about it.
Its their country and we can always choose to not visit. But if we want to they should decide if they want me to allow us in.
As for our "bloody Indians". Frankly, I do strongly feel we are less humans. Karmo Fall (fruits of karma) makes God dump us in a third world country.
Dont you agree? Honestly?
i dont agree with either kaushik or rip. we dont need to either belittle ourselves or blow ourselves out of proportion.
it's a crazy loony world we live in :)
dear kaushik..may be what i want to say would b rather futile to speak..
..you will understand the value of india only when you have achieved all the material things money can buy...and still feel absolutely empty inside..
..you will understand the value of human beings(with all their 'imperfections')..only when you hv possesed all the machines and gadgets in the world....and still nothing will seem to be your own..
...'efficiency' and 'productivity'
are NOT the criteria to judge human beings!!they are parameters to judge machines...
if you really want to judge human beings judge them by their emotions,warmth,sentiments,loyalty,compassion,relationships...and you'll see indians are way ahead...
..does your laptop ever shed tears for you..?...your mother does.
dear scout..i would like to know why u disagree...
Rip: I know what you are saying. And I agree with you. I was just pulling your leg.
dear kaushik...why cant we just be 'better indians' rather than aping an european or an american..?
..even they would appreciate that.
..we have a heritage..no one has.
no american can stand face to face in front of a true indian..
...i understand 'global village' and stuff..but..lets not forget the soil from where were born...
sorry!sorry!sorry! friend..but believe me there are topics which simply gets me started....still..
Rip: Relax! But I understand what you are saying.
For me it was never about aping. But I do admire the work culture. I cannot say about US but in Denmark I was amazed that they treated work as work.
We are so many of us here in India. If I do not agree to take shit someone will. So a lot of shit gets thrown around. So sometime one has to accept shit here. In Denmark you cannot throw shit because no asshole will accept shit.
Its like an unwritten code.
rip, it's more to do with visiting new places and people than being chamcha.
sorry for going against you. i always found your logic to be absolute. you disappointed me this time.
'WORK CULTURE!'....that has been the most common and by far the most widely used excuse on air..
dear kaushik..what makes u think U belong to their work culture..?
what 'work culture' do u maintain at home?..
..are our homes as tidy and arranged as any average european?..
..do we go jogging every morning for 2 hrs to keep ourselves fit..take some red wine every evening or
..have we started living independently making all our decisions from the age of 13..??
..we have simply made a choice of convenience..which would helps us to rationalise our prejudice towards white skin and blue eyes..!!
..the worst part is..they know that!...
..the TRP of india has never been its work culture..nobody will ever recognise you for your stupid work culture..
..the trp of india has been her philosophy..her tolerance..if u r unaware of it..nowhere will you get recognition..
..if u cant respect yourself dont expect anybody else to have any respect for u...
dear ghetu..surely im not against 'travelling and meeting people'...im only in favour of holding my head high and feel proud to say that ..I BELONG TO INDIA...where i am staying does not matter.
dear ghetu,,you have dissapointed me a looong time back...when i found out that you dont welcome comments other than the persons u know..
..how can you be so closed...
rip: u didnt answer me..when was your visa refused?
koushik: screw u.
RIP: Check my new post its dedicated to you. And I will spend another 20 mins of my billable to time to respond. I think you will like this details rather than the response.
Others: Please enjoy....
What makes u think U belong to their work culture?
Nothing actually. Did I claim that? No.
what 'work culture' do u maintain at home?
I dont take work home thats what is called a perfect work life. Stop even trying to have a good work culture at home. Its not the place to work.
are our homes as tidy and arranged as any average european?
Yes and I think more than the average European.
o we go jogging every morning for 2 hrs to keep ourselves fit
I keep myself very fit. I can take someone so bellied like you anyday. By the way be intelligent enough to find out other means of keeping fit rather than running around aimlessly in Indian traffic.
take some red wine every evening
In Denmark people dont take red wine every day to home. They will be laughed at.
have we started living independently making all our decisions from the age of 13
I would be tempted to say yes. But I dont think so. Thats part of my Indian culture retainment.
..the worst part is..they know that!... Who cares except you.
Nobody will ever recognise you for your stupid work culture..
I dont look for recognitions like that.
the trp of india has been her philosophy
Yes, I agree. The armchair philosophers.
her tolerance
Oh! I give Shuv the task of writing a seperate post on Indian tolerance.
nowhere will you get recognition..
Thats the last thing fools will look for and isnt it obvious that I am not a fool.
if u cant respect yourself dont expect anybody else to have any respect for u
I dont think I have done anything to earn respect of anybody. But I have time.
where i am staying does not matter.
It does to me. I fall in love with the place. It does to you I bet. Isnt it obvious?
RIP: One more thing. I had to take the post personally otherwise nobody would enjoy it.
koushik: dont be so hard on him. except for this one weak point rip is otherwise sane. and u cant blame him..ever since his visa was refused and he was thrown out of the consulate he has been like this....but he is getting better..give him some time.
kaushik please delete the last comment it has too many mistakes, redoing it below.
oh shit i missed out all the fun in this post by being late.
Even if i base my views on the comments of this post, they will be same as those i have observed after living/working in India and in Australia.
INDIANS ARE BIGGEST LOOSERS AND HYPOCRITES. Trust me i have not missed anything about India apart from very few family and freinds.
Yes we have made a choice of convinience and the reason is hat life is CONVINIENT here.
"The TRP of India is philosophy and tolerance" get a life stop living in 1947. We are a country of agressive, voilent, ignorant and criminal minds.
What will you do by arranging your home when the basic things in life are messed up. 24 hours water and electricity(not even a single power surge inlast 20 years), NO QUEUES, no artificial relationships, no show offs, no horns, maximum 8 minutes guarnteed medical and police assistance, access to best books/movies in every suburb. That is what i call a better life.
less than 2% of the Aussies who have been to India have anything good to say about India and sadly i cant argue with them after i hear what they went thru after a trip to mera bharat mahaan.
"if you really want to judge human beings judge them by their emotions,warmth,sentiments,loyalty,compassion,relationships...and you'll see indians are way ahead..." BIGGEST MYTH. I have found australians excelling in everything above in the true sense.
I would emphasise that my obseravtions are based on majority of population on both sides.
If my Visa would have been rejected i would have also glorified Indian myths and rebuked the better side of world
yaar why dont u guys understand? his visa wasnt just rejected..he was thrown out bodily from the consulate...
samjha karo.
Vikas: I agree it has too many mistakes. But for a change I have some work at work. But there is one anonymous who specialises in reporting these errors. Some will call it grammatical but kinder ones call it silly. I like the latter definition.
i deleted that one myself. was too drunk to correct the mistakes in this one as well. I guess my point is clear in the comment.
dear friends...if u remember..even before i started to comment i told u its going to be futile...
..how can u prove to a blind man that there is light...?
before we close on this topic ,a few things remain to be said..
dear shuv,sorry to dishearten you..but..i was never refused a visa..
..if you r intelligent u'll realise that..my problem does not lie with their's (goras..)attitude towards us..my problem lies completely with OUR attitude towards them....
..how long can u survive by appreciating others?..other's country..other's lifestyle..other's
sports..other's culture..other's thinking..
they may be good..but they r NOT YOURS...u r simply leading a second hand life..
..when r u going to stand up and appreciate yourself..your country..your language..your culture..YOUR life for a change..?
..i know i am talking to a dead bunch of 'quasi Indians'...
dear friends..stay anywhere, do what u may..do not degrade your country in front of others...u'll degrade your ownself in the process...
..this country has taken YOUR nonsense for three decades..dont u forget that...
dear vikas,its good that u r drunk..
i am amazed at yr definition of a good life and its neccessities...
dude,the only requirement of a 'good life' is LOVE...you shall realise this in due course..
..thats precisely the reason kings could never understand how common people remained happy with so little while with all the riches he constantly felt miserable..
pal i am sorry.. but..u hv completely confused 'lifestyle' with life...
interestingly..'Looser' is a word completely unknown to the indian dictionary...those stupid goras could not even understand that every human being is unique..no one is a looser and no one can be a 'winner'...
..life is not a race..its a JOURNEY of different individuals with different destinations...
..but thats exactly what i expect from the goras...juvenile as they are..
..dear vikas, do u consider your "indian" parents,your 'badi maa',your other family members..all 'loosers'??..and u r the only 'winner' in your family?..dont even bother to answer.
guys..i know u r not ready for what i am saying..i know i hv rubbed a lot of people on the wrong side..
...but..for all u know that just might turn out to be the only right side...
..you were born a banyan tree..youll never look like a pine...accept it and be happy.
..sorry again for bothering you friends..
Dear RIP, It. sure is futile.
I can go on supportig my stand with another 1000 words comment but i know it is not going to end thr.
Whoever gave you the idea that you are not loved or you cannot love when you are outside india was wrong. I do think goras understand better that every individual is unique.
I liked it!!
came in a little too late! Hate to admit this Kaushik, but I loved these comments more than the post! :-) hehehee
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