Cognitive Dissonance

I admire Lord Krishna and I admire Bill Clinton but I wasnt sure why. Now I know -Cognitive Dissonance. A small excerpt from an article I was reading in The Economist.

Born a modestly well-off villager, Mao lived like an emperor, carried on litters by peasants, surrounded by concubines and placated by everyone. Yet his most famous slogan was “Serve the People”. This paradox illustrates one aspect of his brilliance: his ability to justify his actions, no matter how entirely self-serving, as being done for others.

Psychologists call this “cognitive dissonance”—the ability to make a compelling, heartfelt case for one thing while doing another. Being able to pull off this sort of trick is an essential skill in many professions. It allows sub-standard chief executives to rationalise huge pay packages while their underlings get peanuts (or rice).

But Mao did not just get a stamp from a compliant board and eye-rolling from employees. He convinced his countrymen of his value. That was partly because, even if his message bore no relation to his actions, it expressed precisely and succinctly what he should have been doing.

The Highs of Fatherhood

June's first complete portrait drawn without any assistance or any external trigger.

June surprises me and in turn I surprise myself.

Its easy to gloat about your kid's achievements because its a definite high. And sometimes when you are narrating her escapades to others you tend to exaggerate. I admit I did that a few times. But thats taking nothing away from what glimpses June has given till now.

So while I hear this soulful collection of music on pandora.com I was tempted to mull over the highs of being a father.

Inspite of the fact that I could not identify whether "it" was a boy or girl, holding my own child for the first time was nothing less than orgasmic.

My vision was blurred, the sounds around me dimmed out and my only sensation was in my hand. And then when she gave her first irritated look at my attempt to take her first photo I was ecstatic. She was human after all.

From then on there have been numerous "highs". Like the first time she actually smiled at me.

Initially it was more about the physical firsts like crawling, walking, running or falling down. Each moment like these and many more are snapped in my memory.

Slowly as she has grown up I am seeing the human in her getting shaped (or deshaped!!). Her ideas of a bad girl. The differentiators between a boy and a girl. Her sense of style. Her choice of taste. Her appreciation of sound. Her fascination about some colours. Her recognition of shapes. Even her response to different sounds. Her mimicry of others. Most importantly her grace. Her likes or her dislikes.

And each moment I can see I am already starting to judge her around the choices that she shows. Is she like me? Is she like her mom? Is she like someone else? But at the end of the day, she is like herself. She is June.

There will be more to come I am sure. So while she grows up I hope I can sit back and enjoy the show. Good luck June! Each day you are arriving a little more.

One of June's Favourite Song

So it is her parents'





He would always win the fight

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
"Remember when we used to play?"

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down.

Music played, and people sang
Just for me, the church bells rang.

Now he's gone, I don't know why
And till this day, sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie.

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down...

P.S. - Fortunately June doesnt understand a word of it...