The Highs of Fatherhood

June's first complete portrait drawn without any assistance or any external trigger.

June surprises me and in turn I surprise myself.

Its easy to gloat about your kid's achievements because its a definite high. And sometimes when you are narrating her escapades to others you tend to exaggerate. I admit I did that a few times. But thats taking nothing away from what glimpses June has given till now.

So while I hear this soulful collection of music on pandora.com I was tempted to mull over the highs of being a father.

Inspite of the fact that I could not identify whether "it" was a boy or girl, holding my own child for the first time was nothing less than orgasmic.

My vision was blurred, the sounds around me dimmed out and my only sensation was in my hand. And then when she gave her first irritated look at my attempt to take her first photo I was ecstatic. She was human after all.

From then on there have been numerous "highs". Like the first time she actually smiled at me.

Initially it was more about the physical firsts like crawling, walking, running or falling down. Each moment like these and many more are snapped in my memory.

Slowly as she has grown up I am seeing the human in her getting shaped (or deshaped!!). Her ideas of a bad girl. The differentiators between a boy and a girl. Her sense of style. Her choice of taste. Her appreciation of sound. Her fascination about some colours. Her recognition of shapes. Even her response to different sounds. Her mimicry of others. Most importantly her grace. Her likes or her dislikes.

And each moment I can see I am already starting to judge her around the choices that she shows. Is she like me? Is she like her mom? Is she like someone else? But at the end of the day, she is like herself. She is June.

There will be more to come I am sure. So while she grows up I hope I can sit back and enjoy the show. Good luck June! Each day you are arriving a little more.